We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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