you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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