best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
