I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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