I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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