i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
