just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
