She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
