For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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