So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
