Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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