So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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