omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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