I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
