kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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