she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
