is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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