i may or may not be watching the land before time
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
