What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
