Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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