Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
