I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
