i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
