I must be too annoying 4 u.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it wasn't lemon gatorade
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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