I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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