A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Blood and glitter go together right?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
