do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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