Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
