i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm at about main and main street
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
