i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
