is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
