we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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