I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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