no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
