David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
