I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
