i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
