I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
