Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
