her vagine was all disorganized.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
