dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
