Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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