I have demons in me.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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