me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
