is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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