You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
