You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
