I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The air was thick with penises
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
