My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't deserve a penis
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
