I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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