we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
