clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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