As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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