She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
