At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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