I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she smelled like a LAN party
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think your dad took our porno
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
